i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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