Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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