Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
