Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
