Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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