my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
