Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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