Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
