only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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