so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
