it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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