I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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