I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize