My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i love accidental penises.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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