Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
