And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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