we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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