so that wasnt chicken after all
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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