The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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