I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.