is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house