i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.