Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.