I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex