Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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