I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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