I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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