come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
