I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
