I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
