WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
