I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
