Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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