So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
