have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
