whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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