I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Damn victory sex feels great
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
