I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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