1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Your dad touched me again.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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