he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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