Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
