I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize