Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
