she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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