you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
