He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
