john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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