So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
