I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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