The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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