with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
PANTIES FOUND
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