So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
