I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
