bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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