please come you make the beer taste better
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
