I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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