i wish there were pregnant emoticons
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
