Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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