i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
