Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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