wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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