I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
