Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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