just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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