You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
