somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
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I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
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I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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