I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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