just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
