I think i peed on brittanys purse
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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