I puked a lego.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
