ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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