i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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