We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
