are you still at the devil's house?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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